Ahh yes, the sweet smell of fresh notebooks in the morning. It's once again, that time of the year that always sneaks up just a little too soon. Classes of the 2011-2012 school year start tomorrow, and the students are buzzing about; going back to school shopping, planning one last summer hurrah, perfecting a "first day of school outfit", and of course, figuring out how in the world they're going to handle nine months of eight rigorous classes a day. It's a lot to deal with, and the fact that school was starting soon didn't really set in until a few days ago. Usually, at this point, I'm deathly bored of summer. I'm ready for a change, for a reason to get up early in the morning. Projects, something to work on. In a way, I typically look forward to the first few weeks of school. This year? Not so much.
One may ask, what changed from every other summer since I can remember and now? This is the first summer I have really wished for another month or two of vacation. Perhaps it's because I was in summer school for over two thirds of my so-called "vacation". I never really experienced even a few days in which I could truly relax. For the most part, I'm okay with this. I like being busy, going from one thing to the next, never having nothing to do...but in a way, it would be nice to have a week. Just a week in which I could do what I want. Go to movies with friends. Sit and read a book. Sleep in late. Do absolutely nothing at all. I never really had a time when I could do that. It was go, go, go all summer long, and now I am facing nine more months of being go, go, go throughout the school year.
People ask me if I'm excited for school. My immediate answer is: yes! In all honesty, there are things I look forward to with the coming school year. The football season (which ultimately means the marching band season for me). Fall is coming, the leaves will change, it will no longer be deathly hot or buggy. I like the concept of seeing my friends every day, facing new opportunities to join clubs, find new interests, feel the sense of accomplishment if I do well on a test. I do like school. I can't deny it whatsoever. But, besides from the getting up early, the one thing that makes me yearn for more summer is: I'm scared. I'm honestly frightened out of my mind. I'm going into my junior year. I will be an upperclassman, and suddenly, everything has taken on new meaning. Each and every test, quiz, project, even those five point homework assignments will affect my future in an irreversible way. My class schedule is filled with four AP courses, an honors class, and two electives. Just thinking about it makes the sting of anxiety rise in my throat.
So now I will finish this blog; lay out my clothes for tomorrow, set my alarm to an ungodly hour, lay out my backpack, filled with notebooks ready to be doodled in, struggle to go to sleep at a reasonable hour, and face the year that will scare, challenge, excite, revolt, frustrate, and invigorate me. Let's do this.
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