Friday, December 30, 2011

Drive

     Not everyone can be born a genius. But, to those of you who are born geniuses...I hate you just a little bit. Not seriously, I don't hate you. But I have always envied those kids in my class who get the same or better grades than I do by doing less than half the amount of effort I put in. I'm one of those people - as much as I shouldn't do this - who is constantly comparing myself to others. Not in an "oh I have to be better than everyone" way, but just for the sake of comparison. I am my biggest critic and my biggest fan. If I do something wrong, I beat myself up about like none other. But if I do something good, I feel on top of the world.
   Very recently, a wise friend of mine told me straight up that I had to stop comparing myself to others. If I'm not happy with what I do, that's my own problem. But I should not be upset about not doing as fantastically as the girl standing next to me. This came up in relation to ACT scores. I took the test for the first time, no classes, no studying, just a dry run at it. I did okay, not as well as I was hoping for. So naturally, I made myself sick, comparing my score to everyone else who took the test, making myself feel worse and worse.
   So after a couple of days of feeling awful and guilty, I start to get fired up. Perhaps I'm not a born genius. If you put a super complicated math problem in front of me, I probably won't be able to solve it with as much ease as some people. But one thing I do have, is determination. If I want it badly enough, I will work, and work, and work at it. Does that mean I'll automatically get a 36 on the ACT just because I work on it? No. But it does mean that in the end, after I've taken the test for the last time, and I send in my final score to college admissions offices, I can be proud of my score. Not because of whatever number shows up on my transcript, but because I'll know in my heart that I did everything in my ability to get the best possible score I could deserve. I get this drive and determination for perfection from my parents, and while it can sometimes be a curse, I believe it to be one of my best qualities.

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