One Is The Loneliest Number...Right?

       I am a teenager. By definition, all I should desire as an angsty teen is independence. I should want nothing more than to be with my friends and get away from my family. That's what young adulthood is all about, right? Finally we can get our licenses to drive. No longer do we have to depend on our parents to get us from point A to point B. Maybe our parents are trusting us to stay home alone all night instead of taking you to your grandma's. We should want more than anything to just be able to do what we want, when we want. Not factoring in what is important to our families. My friends will all tell me horror stories about their parents. How they yell and scream at one another. They'll do anything to just get out of the house so that they don't have to be around their mothers and fathers. I believe myself to be the complete and total opposite.
       These last couple of days, I have had as much time to do exactly what I want when I want, all by myself...and all I can think is...I cannot wait until my parents get home. I do not want to have another meal by myself. I do not want to sit around watching movies by myself. Thinking how my sister would have laughed so much at that one line that we've had an inside joke about for years. Thinking how even though my dad would complain about having to watch this "chick movie", he would actually have really enjoyed some of the stupid romantic comedy movie humor. When my friends invite me to sleepover or see a movie, sometimes I really would rather to just have a relaxing night at home. I detest coming home to an empty house. When I make cookies, there's no one to offer dough to. No one to come galloping down the stairs at the scent of dinner being almost ready.
       Maybe it's not what a characteristic teenager should think, but I miss my family. 
       

All By Myself

               Alone. All by myself. Privacy. Lacking company. Detached. Isolated from the rest of the world. This is something that is craved by millions. They just want to get away from the rest of the world to be alone with their own thoughts for a while. Parents long to get away from their children for some peace and quiet. Teenagers want to get away from their parents for freedom to do what they wish. Students want to get away from school to relax. Sometimes everyone just needs to have their alone time. A time to sit and really be able to think and not have anyone else infringe upon that. However, being alone is also one some people's biggest fear.
               It's said that someone just "needs to get away", they need to be alone, and be able to think clearly. But once that privacy is granted, it's nice for a while; until the silence starts to become overwhelming. Everyone around that you could turn to, someone to talk to, or even just to be around another person, is gone, because you told them to leave. The freedom feels great for a while. You can finally get things done that you're never able to without distraction surrounding you. You don't have to worry about being too loud, or compromising about what to watch on TV. Then hours have passed, and you begin to miss the feeling that your family or friends are right around the corner.
              In relationships one side of it will say "I just need some space for a while" to be alone, or explore other options, whatever. Then there are millions of people in this world who are absolutely terrified of ending up alone. That's the worst that could happen to them. It's just ironic to me. Privacy, freedom to do anything you want without a family or relationship holding you back, is something that is craved by so many. However being alone is something most feared in this world. Yet privacy and being alone are essentially the same thing. The one difference I see: privacy will come to an end. Being alone is forever.