BOO! Yes, I'm sure I scared you severely - watch out for nightmares tonight. I just had a very interesting conversation with my Mom and I thought to myself: "you know what....I think I just found what I'm going to blog about". Fears. Those things that just put you a little on edge, all the way to that which makes you ready to burst into hysterics at any moment. We all have them, regardless of how irrational the fear may be. Today's lunch conversation with my friends conveniently had to do with fears as well, however that was exclusively discussing our mutual fear for bugs. That is of course one of the most common fears. The creepy crawly feeling one gets when they spy a bug on the wall. They never scared me as a child, but after hearing my 7th grade science teacher's story of how he almost died (twice) of a brown recluse spider bite, I've never been able to shake the fear I feel if I ever see a spider that I will get fatally bitten.
There are things that we grow up being told that we should be afraid of - what it's normal to fear. Things from bugs, to heights, to what lies in one's closet. As a child, these were not the things that scared me. My big fears started with the fear of house fires. I have a bunk bed (yes, I am just awesome like that), and I thought that since I wouldn't be able to roll out of bed in case of a fire, I would get suffocated in the fumes of the flames. Eventually, I grew out of that fear, and I moved onto tornadoes (after understanding what was actually happening in The Wizard of Oz) I was terrified any time there was a tornado watch out (and I live in the midwest, we had them from time to time). However, neither of these fears are my longest running or greatest fears.
When I'm in my bed, sleep coming nearer and nearer, and all of a sudden thud! Crack! Whoosh! Clank! I would hear a noise in the night. If it was during a time I knew my parents were still awake, I could easily blame it on them, and fall into a deep and peaceful sleep feeling as safe as can be. But when my parents shut the door to their bedroom for the night, any noise I heard in the house brought immediate images of armed and dangerous burglars, ready to bind and gag me at any minute. Now I live in a big house along with two sisters, two parents, and two very rest less cats. Random creaking is bound to happen. However for years upon years, almost every single night I would hear a noise that pushed me to get out of bed and check the locks around the house.
Call this little thing obsessive compulsive if you must, but assuring myself that my house contained nothing but my family and my cats made me feel infinitely better. But if I didn't check, I couldn't sleep for hours. In the past year or so, I've managed to shake that little habit, however I've found myself from time to time feeling the urge to get up and check the locks due to a noise I may have heard.
Everyone has fears. Some as simple as small crawling creatures looking for residence in your house. Some are irrational and crazy like the fear of clowns or pudding. For some like me, it's fearing what exactly the darkness and stillness of night may be hiding in its shadows. It's okay to be afraid sometimes. However my fear drove me to do somewhat crazy things. However I wouldn't take them back. You never know what may be hiding....right around the corner.
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